To Have Loved and Lost

Really loving someone is giving them the opportunity to ruin your life. If you have loved someone, you can be haunted by their absence for a lifetime. Every shower reminds you of the times you were slippery-wet, melting into one another. Every time you lie on a couch, watch a movie, read a book, you find yourself longing for the warm and tender being, who used to lie with you, their arms and legs entangled with yours. Your bed always feels empty. Every bed always feels empty. Every holiday, every season, every family dinner, is a gaping hole - a reminder of the one you've lost. Your whole life is the empty place on the wall where his pictures used to be. Loneliness hangs heavy in the air. You suffocate because it fills your lungs, you starve because it turns your stomach. It's a tightness in your chest that feels like cancer. It feels like it will never stop. Nothing will ever change the fact that you were happy - you were content and secure and at peace - and now, you are not. And you might never be again.

Once you've seen the light, you know how dark the darkness truly is. You know, and you cannot forget.

On a Scale from 1 to Bitter: 12.
1-800-Bitterness.com Radio: Jill Sobule - Now That I Don't Have You
1-800-Bitterness.com Reading List: Lunar Park by Bret Easton Ellis